Thursday 30 May 2013
Oneil McDove VIP Guest Writer
We all have demons in our lives but it’s not the dark apparitions that we see on TV it’s the people we see in our everyday lives, the people that we envy or hate, the people that we argue with, the ones we physically or emotionally harm in some shape or form and it’s not that you hate qualities in these specific people but that they remind us of ourselves & reflect the qualities about ourselves that we wish we had more of or that we wish we didn’t have at all, so what do we do, we alleviate our pain not by fighting or fixing out own demons, but by harming the people that remind us of our demons, by harming the people that remind us of the things that we don’t like about ourselves and when we become frustrated that we are not in control of our emotions because we do not know what is affecting or controlling our emotions we take that out on others, we take it out on absolutely anything or anyone else that show us or that act as a catalyst for our hatred. The people who love us are perfect because we know that they love us and wont defend themselves, hence becoming the perfect catalyst for our aggression, our confusion, our self hatred, our anger, just take it out on the ones who loves us.
Think of the lack of compassion you must have to feel no semblance of sympathy towards individuals who may have done you wrong whether knowingly or unknowingly. I will tell you what’s even more dangerous it not the people who do or did you wrong, it’s the persons that are against such behavior and are self righteous enough to feel that it’s their duty to wish harm in an inhumane way. These persons take subconscious hatred and cruel behavior to a whole new level of conscious cruel behavior because they feel justified in their minds that what they are doing is perfectly normal. These are the people who harbor so much inner hate and resentment cause they don’t realize that it’s just another form of the same exact hatred, so to keep from facing our inner demons consistently what do we do; allow our egos to come up with another form of esoteric hatred and cruelty to trick us into displaying the same form of self hatred and indignant attitude but just in another way and to someone else but the emptiness will always find a way back in no matter how many time they try to transfer blame.
We need chaos, we beg for catastrophe in our lives, cuz if we don’t have these things, we start to notice these things in ourselves and that’s what we don’t want. We can deal with chaos as long as it is not in ourselves.
Just one moment of our realization of self hate is way more to deal with than all the problems in the world.
This is just information you can respond to it any way you so choose because information is just information, it’s not wrong or right, it’s not good or bad; it’s just information & what you do with it is only dependent on you; no one is an author on it just give it an honest and open mind, no matter how many people tell you that you are right or wrong, you know that you are not dependent upon their approval.
If we can question our own actions and thought process, our own and If we make a conscious decision to what we feel is right everyday – that is true divinity, that’s real compassion and love and then we can truly know what it feels like to be alive filled with LIFE and not us just existing but really living.
Oneil McDove -VIP Guest Writer
A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided and It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped and Using that power gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant.
So what did I do? - I took counseling from my fears before I make every important battle decision and after having collected all the facts and fears and have made my decision, I turn off all my fears and go ahead!
Now!, I've learnt that sometimes a life's journey can take you to a place that is not on any map, but If you are facing in the right direction, all you need to do is keep on walking remembering that, to travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive because the journey is the reward.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.
Title Unnecessay
Lost in sounds, not to be described, an inner affair of soulfulness...
Climbing endlessly in a space of blues,whites and shimmers of golds
Chanting love of life, life of love, inside the riddims of violins, guitars, Akette Fundeh chimes!
Voices of sunflower skips thru the atmosphere, laughing winds exhales kleem...
Pillars of silence permeates emotionless spasms...orgasm strengthens minds of nothingness
Nature's essence, light of now, waters of the Nile sweetness flies. ebb doesn't flow...No surprise
In me out of you, living windows of graceful auras sailing bliss across the seas, serene waters gazes beyond unseen realms of the heart.
A new beginning no ending to claim....
Thursday 23 May 2013
Julian Father's Day
Though you are miles yet only in the flesh
Thy essence lives within our hearts, your being is why we have no regrets
We love YOU like no word can explain or say
As we rise within the meadows of the Sunlight's ray
Our souls yearn to touch thy smile and hold you ever so close
It is just not the same with your presence so far away
There lingers an emptiness deep inside our spirit
A space only YOU can fulfill, for we are connected beyond blood,beyond mind
May this day bring you thrills of bliss and genuine laughter
You are truly an inspiration. Your breath is sweet because of your heart.
Awaiting patiently for thy physical arrival, with arms wide open like the ocean
Love we share is undeniable divine, the kind that can never be defined
May we continue to grow as the light we radiate shineth your way
Thank you immensely for being a treasure, a father ,a friend, a husband,a lover,a king, extraordinaire.
It is your love that keeps us strong, it is your love that makes us free, it is your love
that keeps us nourished; it is then inevitable, thy soul will always flourish.
You beloved! Shall we always cherish...
One with You, may our love remain PURE,SOLID and TRUE...
Wednesday 15 May 2013
SoulHumanity By Moje'
It is not easy to live on Earth without a sense of knowing or consciousness. If one is not conscious then one is asleep. what can man accomplish if all he does is sleep? Why is everyone suffering or living in lack? Will we wake up to another reality? A purposeful reality? Slaves training slaves... Willy Lynch still probing humanity. The torment of the human mind is the enemy of life. The soul of purity is the balm of all times. The heart's divinity is the fruit of the spirit. What is tomorrow, when it is not yet here? What is the future that may never appear? What is a sin, if we are here to learn? What is life worth, if love is not first? What you cling to will cause you to thirst.
Monday 13 May 2013
Why Do We Love?
No one can keep on running from their shadow. There's no escaping your self. Most may think or believe death is the end; but this is far from truth. For what one may think is the end is usually preparation ;leading mankind into new cycles and dimensions of existence. The essence of Love is no different from a shadow.
You simply cannot fight it, dismiss it, change it, or ignore it. We love for no reason. It's the reason why we breathe. To love is a natural occurrence. Anyone who has not experienced love is because they are absorbed in fear and have lost their memory.
You simply cannot fight it, dismiss it, change it, or ignore it. We love for no reason. It's the reason why we breathe. To love is a natural occurrence. Anyone who has not experienced love is because they are absorbed in fear and have lost their memory.
Be Exact
Be specific when you pray for something or someone. When you are not clear about what you're inviting in your world, anything will come. It is imperative to know exactly what you desire. I know someone who prayed for a man of God. She was only concern with God being the center of his life. She met him while at church and is convinced that he is who God sent her way. Almost three years later she finds herself in turmoil because of his constant accusations, emotional tantrums and his deep insecurities. Her daughter is a young adult and he seems to be more concerned about her life than hers. He is always upset about something and blames her for not understanding him and for not listening. She married this man and told no one about it. She thought she would grow to love him with God's intervention. This approach I found to be quite unique; because usually people get involved being at the very least attracted to the person.. She is now realizing that this man is not worthy of her. However she has decided that she's not going to end the marriage and believes that if it's God's will he will leave her. When I asked her what it is she likes about this man, she was only able to tell me this: " I like that he's a man of God," I then said, "what else do you like about him?" She then replied; "nothing else that's it." I smiled and said, " that's very interesting." Her daughter appeared very disgusted by this man and kept on repeating how horrible he was. My friend didn't deny any of her daughter's remarks...Although I have never met this gentleman, I understand what he's going through. He has owned his traumas and as a result is very distrustful and has not or perhaps he doesn't know how to let go of his disastrous past relationships. It's a typical scenario where we bring baggage over into our relations and then point fingers at our mates. What I know for sure is that the basis of a strong union is depended on LOVE, TRUST, HONESTY, COMMITMENT,ACCEPTING, ALLOWING, APPRECIATION and EMPATHY. When asking for a lifetime partner it's wise to know exactly what you are asking for. I told her that she didn't decide on the quality man she wanted , she was only concerned with him loving God; I also told her that loving God doesn't mean you have no issues or that your personality is flawless. she agreed that she could have been more specific. What will be the outcome? I guess only God knows. But what I do know is that I wish for them both rapid healing. Proceed with caution when praying.
Sunday 12 May 2013
Friday 10 May 2013
"More Thoughts?" By Siiek Xci (V.I.P. Guest Writer)
Whats it all worth?
Slowly eating away who i am, sigh...
distance.., time,.. speed,.. density,
calculative intensity,
Whats it all worth?
walking on the surface six feet deep and be called an elite? Hm, is it?
Here today, gone tomorrow,
gone today, Where Tomorrow? sigh***
Whats it all worth?
finances, education, religion, politics,
grievances, infestation, incision, ..antibiotics?
Whats it all worth?
my brother, my sister, my father, my mother, my friend, my girl, my pet,
my this, my that, my wants, my needs, my greeds? Whats my endeavour best?
Whats it all worth?
Find It. Forever!!
Slowly eating away who i am, sigh...
distance.., time,.. speed,.. density,
calculative intensity,
Whats it all worth?
walking on the surface six feet deep and be called an elite? Hm, is it?
Here today, gone tomorrow,
gone today, Where Tomorrow? sigh***
Whats it all worth?
finances, education, religion, politics,
grievances, infestation, incision, ..antibiotics?
Whats it all worth?
my brother, my sister, my father, my mother, my friend, my girl, my pet,
my this, my that, my wants, my needs, my greeds? Whats my endeavour best?
Whats it all worth?
Find It. Forever!!
Power of A Platonic Friendship
My friend was addicted to my style of cooking. I am a vegetarian chef and a natural fruit juice specialist, my preparation of an unusual blend of Noni, has won me alot of admirers. Noni is used as a medicine to build up and cleanse the body, it has endless of benefits. At about 8 a.m. one Friday morning, my very good friend Percy called me inquiring if I was going to cook that day, because he was heading into Kingston from Ocho Rios, he wanted to know in advance what was on my menu. When Percy arrived at my house, he told me he had someone he wanted me to meet. I was introduced to this beautiful woman over the telephone, This is how I met Queen Mojiba for the very first time.
When we met physically, it was a hysterical moment. We looked at each other as if we knew each other forever; at that very moment there was an instant radiation passing through both of us which cemented a lifetime connection. There came times when we were worlds apart, and communication was sometimes far between. But the spiritual and mental radiation was always flowing telepathically and was being energized by the sun. This energy cannot be created or destroyed.
One day when the pressures of life had me in a depressive state, as I was sitting in my yard my phone rang, initially I didn't recognize the voice,it was so soft and caressing, but when I identified the voice I was immediately rejuvenated, my entire being was transformed, even my digestive system started working properly. It was Mojiba! The beauty of this specially gifted African Queen made my thoughts go way beyond sex and lusting, she was a woman worthy of putting on a pedestal, her beauty seemed to have been apart of a sumptuous botanical garden. Our thoughts, ideas and experiences kept us happy. We spoke on every topic there was, always empowering and enlightening each other. We felt we could challenge the world and make positive changes. If I didn't know what genuine friendship, or how it felt to have a secure and caring friend, Mojiba demonstrated that to me in a transparent way. My cooking and Noni also captivated Mojiba's taste buds. .Because of it's impeccable taste she would always tell people about the energy of my cooking and my Noni. I was her number chef! Ironically there was a feeling among people around us that we were having an intimate relationship, especially because we appeared as though we were Siamese twins. We made jokes about these assertions. It only made us stronger and closer as friends. We turned stepping stones into stumbling blocks. How much more beautiful, enhancing, inspirational and motivating can any platonic relation be? If there is anyone who should feel most honored about her natural beauty, that is energized by the solar energy it must be her most fortunate and blessed husband. The first thing he should do every morning when he gets up is to stare in the rising sun for a second to clear his eyes of any foreign object, then just glance back at his beautiful African Queen to see her full glory.
Quote & photo design by MOJE
Art Soul. (Interview With Empress Renee Bowman)
A. Who is Erica Chamlee?
Erica Chamlee is a woman within who has grew up with a rough life having alcoholics as parents growing up. I used to sit isolated in my bedroom alone growing up and write, draw and listen to music to find peace inside among their fighting and drunkenness . I love living inside my mind if indoors. I love summer the most and love to be one with nature a lot. I love to learn and study. I love being in control. I love teaching and growing. I love dreaming and fantasying. Pain has created the once loving , sensitive, trusting, giving little girl in me, into a bitter, fighting, rebellious, sad woman. I feel all my life I try to help people and have lost myself behind it as I get attached easy. I feel I have an obsessive side in these attachments now.. Not sure why.. I feel I learned to suppress these things into a dark place within me where I forget them and try not to think of them as I dream of an imaginary place for me to live inside now.. It hurts.. deep.. and talking about it makes me cry…
B. What does life mean to you? Traveling the world and seeing all of God’s creation and loving it and learning from it and growing with it as one in unity.. Being loyal and loving to those who are loyal and loving to me.. and even beyond that.. Duality and Unity… Love above all these things… This to me is life..
C. What is the most satisfying experience you've had thus far on Earth? Birthing my children…
D. What is your favorite color and why? Red, because it represents roses, royalty, power to me..its bold like me
E. As a mother what you would say is the most challenging experience and the most fulfilling? The most challenging is teaching them how to balance life’s emotions in a corporate world of machines… The most fulfilling is listening to their points of view and seeing their smiles when we go camping or fishing and are one with nature..
G. What is your greatest inspiration? Why? My greatest inspiration is my children. They give me a reason to keep fighting for my life when I feel weary, worn down and ready to give up..
H. What does writing do for you? Writing has always allowed me to hear my mind and soul because I read me the most of all scripts written. It also allows me to release negative energy that consumes me as a loner who now is untrusting of close friends in reality.
I. How do you maintain balance in your day to day lifestyle? I balance by taking time out to listen to meditational music, rain, various other genres of music, inspirational speakers, reading others testimonies. I have friends online who help me by encouraging me, loving me, supporting me in my art… It gives me inner strength. I sometimes again, sit for hours in silence.. Silence is my friend… I self examine my thoughts daily.. I love hard and strong which brings the same energy back to me that I send out.. If I rage in anger, hate, pain or negative energy, I hide it online after releasing it.. and reflecting… to not bring others down by it… but in that moment I must release it.. takes me a while sometimes to get balanced again but I do find the other half of the circle each time these emotions try to consume me.. I practice zoning into my own emotions using music to take me to inner places inside.. This practice helps me control my emotions rather than them controlling me.
J. If you were asked to change one thing about the world, what would it be? LIES I would destroy everything that is a LIE.
K. What is the most painful experience you have lived? Being Diagnosed with HIV at age 21. I gave up so many of my dreams as I wilted beneath it feeling like a black widow spider that all who I called family began to even fear to be around. I began isolating myself from the world. To not put my pain on them or be a burden to anyone.
L. How long have you been an artist? From the day I was born.
M. Do you have any advice/tips, for the upcoming young writers of today? LOVE, AND ENJOY YOUR NOW… IT IS ALL WE HAVE!
N. Would you say you're spiritual or religious? I am very spiritual and in touch with many things unknown to man.. I have seen orbs, spirits, dark shadows of death… Grim reapers as some say or the Angel of Death.. I have witnessed miracles and know that we humans are not alone here. I have also heard voices speak for me to step out in front of moving transfer trucks as I laughed at them because they came during a time I was happy and content with life. I thought what a foolish entity to come to me when I am up to think I would listen to its persuasion. All things that lead me closer to what I consider my God, my life, my love, my protector, my creator, my healer..
O. What does LOVE mean to you?
EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday 9 May 2013
4th Dimension By Erica Chamlee ( VIP Guest Writer )
In an attempt to escape this box of circles...
I jump from this cloud into a place of outer space...
Energies encircling me...
Lifting me to higher proportions within...
Revealing the realness of all I am..
Expanding me one handedly yet I feel so free....
Inhabiting this black hole within..
The place I name as void...
Where peace begins to speak...
Through a permeating silence...
I am still, yet moving...
Matter within an unconsciousness ...
Cosmic escapes internally...
I see my creator within...
Shining...
Blinding me...
Superseding beyond my comprehension...
Where words can not define her outline or place of remedy...
Light filling me inside pure darkness...
Spilling ink as I envision it being revealed unto me...
Ripping through this inner veil of what I see as me...
Asteroids floating within hands reach...
Yet looking through the 4th dimension I see there is no skin holding me...
Light reflections have begun to cease...
A Visionary permanence ...
Consuming Superior Nova stance...
Creations within this space odyssey is now where I begin to dance...
Mind beyond the box...
Soul free from what once was flesh...
I can no longer see me time now ticks no more....
Aero galactic revelation ...
Starry eyed penetrations...
Labeled as a space cadet ...
Heartthrobs begin to melt...
Balancing both negative and positive...
Inside where I finally begin to escape your third eye realm...
4TH DIMENSION
Asylum by Erica Chamlee (V.I.P. Guest Writer)
She sits within her padded walled asylum... voices within her mind tempting her intent...
Her mentality going asunder, darkly twisted and crookedly bent...
Her heart races within the straight jacket she wears fitting to her will...
Envisioning the victims within her evil soul that she ever so longs to kill..
Lurking behind the shadows of her mind lye blood stained patterns of what was yesterday..
Injections of peace she feels as the doctor relieves her of the tormenting voices that continue to lead her astray...
Death to her is the only way out, but she is bound within her cell...
The asylum..now has become her imprisoning, padded, forever tormenting HELL...
Wednesday 8 May 2013
Beauty In The Moment
My beloved child Genesis only fours years young, after combing her hair
for school, she asked me a honey like question this morning, we were in
the bathroom and she asked to look in the mirror; When she saw herself,
she then said; " Mommy why does my face look so pretty? I smiled and
then replied; " Because you are a product of Nature and your mother and
your father," Genesis then said with a smile, OH!
CONFIDENCE IS DIVINE!
ADOPTION
The Adoption
Before we begin, let's examine the meaning of the word ADOPTION:
A.To take into one's family through legal means and raise as one's own child.
B. A legal proceeding that creates a parent-child relation between persons not related by blood; the adopted child is entitled to all privileges belonging to a natural child of the adoptive parents (including the right to inherit)
C. Act of leaving one's natural family and entering into the privileges and responsibilities of another. In the Bible, adoption is one of several family-related terms used to describe the process of salvation and its subsequent benefits.
My experience of being adopted after the transition of my parents, led me to this article.
I often wonder how many people have had a successful adoption. I am not referring only to the views of the child who gets adopted, but also from the perspective of the parent or/guardian. I believe it takes an extremely brave person to make a decision of this nature. It is more difficult I would say for a child who knows or knew his or her parent to be more accepting of an adoption than a child who doesn't know his or her parents at all.
There are many of us who believe that adoption is a saving grace; others may feel quite the opposite. My encounter has caused me to see adoption as a very serious subject of discussion. Personally I am not at all against the concept of adoption. However, I believe more consideration aught to be given in cases where the child or children know their biological parents. Why do I say that? When a child is already familiar with the source they are from, there is no one or nothing that can be seen as a replacement for that position. I was adopted at age eight, my parents made their transition two years apart. My mother had ten children, eight of them were for my father and my father had six children with other women. I was the youngest girl for my parents. The death of my parents was a very traumatic period in my life. My eldest sister taught it was the best choice for me to be adopted. She told me the reason for the decision was based upon the deplorable living situation we were exposed to caused adoption to be an option. Therefore, " for a better life," I was adopted, against my will. Effort was made to soothe me in regards to the adoption. Venice, one of my sisters,who was closest to me in age was also adopted, so as to comfort me.
I remember vividly, crying passionately because I didn't want to go with my adopted mother to spend weekends. This I suppose was preparing me for the transition, "for a better life." Though I verbalized that I was going to live with adopted mother, when I saw her once when i was a child; I surely didn't mean for it to take root; it was just a passing thought that I expressed aloud. I truly believe that the words I uttered had serious repercussions. As a result, I can safely say that i would never have made such utterances if I had known it would have become a reality.
My adoption has been like a thorn in my side. The expectations of my adopted mother has been a burden to me. She believes I owe her "LOVE." Unfortunately for her I haven't been able to fulfill her desire. I have never seen her as my mother and will never see her in that light; the reason for this is because the love I experienced with both my parents is not something I have ever felt or experienced with her. I learnt from a tender age that love cannot be bought or forced. The separation of my family and I, has caused me tremendous pain and depression for most of my life. Being adopted by what Jamaicans would call a "white woman" has not been a very favorable one for me. In my opinion, I don't believe it was a good idea to have allowed someone who has never had any children biology or otherwise to adopt me or anyone for that matter. I was adopted by a very unhappy woman, which didn't at all help my state of unhappiness. The irony is that she raised me to believe that I was the only one who was troubled. She has never admitted to her inadequacies of playing the mother role. Visits to psychiatrists and counselors were her method of trying to heal something in me that couldn't be healed. it wasn't about only being adopted that was a burden to me; it was the fact that I was being led to believe that I had to love and respect someone who was always interfering in my personal life in an unfavorable light, criticizing me, attempts of tearing me down in front of my face and constantly behind my back. She also had no love or respect for herself, how then, was I going to ever love or respect this human being. I felt obligated to her for many many years, because I didn't want to appear ungrateful. My attempt in wanting to be out of her life, led me to wanting to commit suicide. it felt like my life was being threatened. As I became more conscious I saw the picture more clearly and recognized the mindset of the woman who adopted me. The continuous negative, unproductive discussions about me pushed me further and further away. The animosity, quarrels and constant verbal wars got worse leading into my adult years. Of course it hasn't been all devastating, because if it wasn't for my adoption, I would not have had the three glorious children, perhaps i wouldn't have married the man I did and I also would not have met the unforgettable humans I have met. I also would not of had the exposure to the artistic world, which is virtue of my adopted mother. She is an independent woman and a renowned artist, also an art teacher. Though my adopted mother thinks I hate her, I really don't, I use to. I strongly believe how she feels about me is also a major factor. I am very sensitive to the feelings and thoughts of others, i pick up on her vibrations all the time. She resents herself and I know she's not fond of me because I haven't lived up to her expectations and I don't worship her. I actually feel a sense of empathy for her. I am simply not interested in playing the mother-daughter illusion role with her, neither do I feel comfortable around her. Her thoughts are much louder than her voice, this she's unaware of. A lot of damage has been done over the years, that has caused me to literally feel numb towards our associations. Her attempts in trying to fix me has pushed me over a cliff of no return. However it wasn't all terrible. She has been a tower of strength in her consistency of being supportive as a provider, she also is a lover of my unique clothing designs. I must acknowledge her strengths as well, I am very grateful i am mindful of this. I must however stay true to myself, if nothing else. There also has been no growth or change in her way of being, which doesn't at all leave any room for an invitation in my heart. I know it must be challenging for her as well, after all it must be heart rendering to have adopted a child who doesn't feel love for you, although the signs were there in the beginning. I never hid my disapproval of wanting to be with her. I think she believed I would just have to accept her as my mother dearest. The opposite has occurred. My children however gives her a sense of love and I am elated that she is able to feel needed somewhat through them. There is value in all things; the most valuable moments of journey is and will always be LOVE. This love i speak of is what I had with my parent. The lessons I have learnt are remarkable ones. I have no regrets being adopted, but many have asked me this; "would I go through it again?" The answer is a definite NO! I wouldn't.
Lifetime Divine Lessons :
A. There's no replacement or substitute for divine love.
B. A child always welcomes the hands of love.
C. Children know more than they are able to express.
D. Love cannot be forced
E. Truth sets us free
G. Self love should be evident before adoption is granted.
H. Emotional intelligence and psychological analysis should be standard before adoption is granted.
I. The voice of a child is just as important as the voice of an adult. Listen to your children.
J. Think three times before you open your mouth
H. Never tear down your child publicly or otherwise, always speak positive words over your child's life.
I. Always be true to yourself, self honesty is priceless.
J. Age doesn't make you superior.
K. Status in life or money doesn't mean people are going to embrace you.
L. Money is an important aspect of raising children, but it is not enough to raise a wholesome child.
M. It is foolish to expect something you are not capable of giving.
Food for thought! Perhaps children one day will be able to adopt their parents :)
Before we begin, let's examine the meaning of the word ADOPTION:
A.To take into one's family through legal means and raise as one's own child.
B. A legal proceeding that creates a parent-child relation between persons not related by blood; the adopted child is entitled to all privileges belonging to a natural child of the adoptive parents (including the right to inherit)
C. Act of leaving one's natural family and entering into the privileges and responsibilities of another. In the Bible, adoption is one of several family-related terms used to describe the process of salvation and its subsequent benefits.
My experience of being adopted after the transition of my parents, led me to this article.
I often wonder how many people have had a successful adoption. I am not referring only to the views of the child who gets adopted, but also from the perspective of the parent or/guardian. I believe it takes an extremely brave person to make a decision of this nature. It is more difficult I would say for a child who knows or knew his or her parent to be more accepting of an adoption than a child who doesn't know his or her parents at all.
There are many of us who believe that adoption is a saving grace; others may feel quite the opposite. My encounter has caused me to see adoption as a very serious subject of discussion. Personally I am not at all against the concept of adoption. However, I believe more consideration aught to be given in cases where the child or children know their biological parents. Why do I say that? When a child is already familiar with the source they are from, there is no one or nothing that can be seen as a replacement for that position. I was adopted at age eight, my parents made their transition two years apart. My mother had ten children, eight of them were for my father and my father had six children with other women. I was the youngest girl for my parents. The death of my parents was a very traumatic period in my life. My eldest sister taught it was the best choice for me to be adopted. She told me the reason for the decision was based upon the deplorable living situation we were exposed to caused adoption to be an option. Therefore, " for a better life," I was adopted, against my will. Effort was made to soothe me in regards to the adoption. Venice, one of my sisters,who was closest to me in age was also adopted, so as to comfort me.
I remember vividly, crying passionately because I didn't want to go with my adopted mother to spend weekends. This I suppose was preparing me for the transition, "for a better life." Though I verbalized that I was going to live with adopted mother, when I saw her once when i was a child; I surely didn't mean for it to take root; it was just a passing thought that I expressed aloud. I truly believe that the words I uttered had serious repercussions. As a result, I can safely say that i would never have made such utterances if I had known it would have become a reality.
My adoption has been like a thorn in my side. The expectations of my adopted mother has been a burden to me. She believes I owe her "LOVE." Unfortunately for her I haven't been able to fulfill her desire. I have never seen her as my mother and will never see her in that light; the reason for this is because the love I experienced with both my parents is not something I have ever felt or experienced with her. I learnt from a tender age that love cannot be bought or forced. The separation of my family and I, has caused me tremendous pain and depression for most of my life. Being adopted by what Jamaicans would call a "white woman" has not been a very favorable one for me. In my opinion, I don't believe it was a good idea to have allowed someone who has never had any children biology or otherwise to adopt me or anyone for that matter. I was adopted by a very unhappy woman, which didn't at all help my state of unhappiness. The irony is that she raised me to believe that I was the only one who was troubled. She has never admitted to her inadequacies of playing the mother role. Visits to psychiatrists and counselors were her method of trying to heal something in me that couldn't be healed. it wasn't about only being adopted that was a burden to me; it was the fact that I was being led to believe that I had to love and respect someone who was always interfering in my personal life in an unfavorable light, criticizing me, attempts of tearing me down in front of my face and constantly behind my back. She also had no love or respect for herself, how then, was I going to ever love or respect this human being. I felt obligated to her for many many years, because I didn't want to appear ungrateful. My attempt in wanting to be out of her life, led me to wanting to commit suicide. it felt like my life was being threatened. As I became more conscious I saw the picture more clearly and recognized the mindset of the woman who adopted me. The continuous negative, unproductive discussions about me pushed me further and further away. The animosity, quarrels and constant verbal wars got worse leading into my adult years. Of course it hasn't been all devastating, because if it wasn't for my adoption, I would not have had the three glorious children, perhaps i wouldn't have married the man I did and I also would not have met the unforgettable humans I have met. I also would not of had the exposure to the artistic world, which is virtue of my adopted mother. She is an independent woman and a renowned artist, also an art teacher. Though my adopted mother thinks I hate her, I really don't, I use to. I strongly believe how she feels about me is also a major factor. I am very sensitive to the feelings and thoughts of others, i pick up on her vibrations all the time. She resents herself and I know she's not fond of me because I haven't lived up to her expectations and I don't worship her. I actually feel a sense of empathy for her. I am simply not interested in playing the mother-daughter illusion role with her, neither do I feel comfortable around her. Her thoughts are much louder than her voice, this she's unaware of. A lot of damage has been done over the years, that has caused me to literally feel numb towards our associations. Her attempts in trying to fix me has pushed me over a cliff of no return. However it wasn't all terrible. She has been a tower of strength in her consistency of being supportive as a provider, she also is a lover of my unique clothing designs. I must acknowledge her strengths as well, I am very grateful i am mindful of this. I must however stay true to myself, if nothing else. There also has been no growth or change in her way of being, which doesn't at all leave any room for an invitation in my heart. I know it must be challenging for her as well, after all it must be heart rendering to have adopted a child who doesn't feel love for you, although the signs were there in the beginning. I never hid my disapproval of wanting to be with her. I think she believed I would just have to accept her as my mother dearest. The opposite has occurred. My children however gives her a sense of love and I am elated that she is able to feel needed somewhat through them. There is value in all things; the most valuable moments of journey is and will always be LOVE. This love i speak of is what I had with my parent. The lessons I have learnt are remarkable ones. I have no regrets being adopted, but many have asked me this; "would I go through it again?" The answer is a definite NO! I wouldn't.
Lifetime Divine Lessons :
A. There's no replacement or substitute for divine love.
B. A child always welcomes the hands of love.
C. Children know more than they are able to express.
D. Love cannot be forced
E. Truth sets us free
G. Self love should be evident before adoption is granted.
H. Emotional intelligence and psychological analysis should be standard before adoption is granted.
I. The voice of a child is just as important as the voice of an adult. Listen to your children.
J. Think three times before you open your mouth
H. Never tear down your child publicly or otherwise, always speak positive words over your child's life.
I. Always be true to yourself, self honesty is priceless.
J. Age doesn't make you superior.
K. Status in life or money doesn't mean people are going to embrace you.
L. Money is an important aspect of raising children, but it is not enough to raise a wholesome child.
M. It is foolish to expect something you are not capable of giving.
Food for thought! Perhaps children one day will be able to adopt their parents :)
Monday 6 May 2013
The Art of Giving
I may not be able to make a living from GIVING; but I know for sure that the more I GIVE is the better my life is. Giving is as natural to me as it to smile. There is a sense of fulfillment within my spirit each time I give. When I give, I realize how wealthy I am. The more I find myself showing kindness is the more glorious my life becomes.Giving is by no means limited to "things," there are endless of ways you can add value to people's lives.
Here is a list of ideas:
1. Listen to someone who wants to talk even if you have no interest in what they are saying.
2. Smile even with a stranger
3. Pray for people you know and the world.
4. Hugs and kisses are great gifts
5. Give a gift for no reason, whether it be a card, book, flowers, chocolate e.t.c.
6. Compliments are excellent antibiotics for the soul.
7. Be supportive and helpful to friends, family and strangers.
8. Accept people they way they present themselves.
9. Observe closely what is lacking in someone's life and give to them what they need.
10. Everyone wants or needs forgiveness. Be understanding.
11. Share what you know.
12. Develop more of yourself, for the better you are is the more you can offer to the world.
13. An invitation to go out is also a sweet gesture.
Here is a list of ideas:
1. Listen to someone who wants to talk even if you have no interest in what they are saying.
2. Smile even with a stranger
3. Pray for people you know and the world.
4. Hugs and kisses are great gifts
5. Give a gift for no reason, whether it be a card, book, flowers, chocolate e.t.c.
6. Compliments are excellent antibiotics for the soul.
7. Be supportive and helpful to friends, family and strangers.
8. Accept people they way they present themselves.
9. Observe closely what is lacking in someone's life and give to them what they need.
10. Everyone wants or needs forgiveness. Be understanding.
11. Share what you know.
12. Develop more of yourself, for the better you are is the more you can offer to the world.
13. An invitation to go out is also a sweet gesture.
Little People
Children are natural explorers. It is natural to be curious. A curious mind is a wealthy soul. A child's uniqueness is constantly being threatened by parents and their programming beliefs and societal standard. They do not get a fair chance to express themselves. To simply BE! They are being stifled and it is by no means any fault of theirs. Will we pay more attention to our children before they vanish?
Sunday 5 May 2013
Saturday 4 May 2013
Truth
The real enemy is the one who is in constant conflict with self. Fault finding reduces love's frequency. Understanding is knowing. who better to comprehend than thyself? Allow thy heart to be open to the essence of light.
Oneness
What is the meaning of Oneness?
1. the state or quality of being one; singleness
2 the state of being united; agreement
3. uniqueness
4. sameness
5. Unity of thought, feeling, aim, harmony; concord
.
.
6. identicalness
7. indistinguishability
8. The fact or state of being unified or whole, though composed of two or more parts.
Oneness is the essence of mankind. And though we are ONE; there's one thing that separates us.. This thing that keeps humans enslaved are thoughts. Thoughts make all the difference. It is the thinking from the one mind that is the culprit. It is the memory that keeps man bound.. All that is created stems from an idea. All that is seen is a reflection of who you are, who you were, who you will be. the choice is yours. Infinite view points we are. Truth is in all things, it's all around us; the Oneself. Life is a dream of dreams. WHO AM I? I am One Person. I am the limitless edition of NOW. One of us here. Search yourself!
ONE DIVINE HEART.
Silence
Humanity yearns for a dependable foundation. The structure man craves to build, is not so much a physical place. but an inner tranquility. Conscious communion with the infinite source is found in silence. If life is for us. what or who can be against us? No one but ourselves.
Wednesday 1 May 2013
EFIL Out Of Many Soulz; One Almighty Spirit
Everyone has a spirit guide. The earthly plane is by no means separate from the spirit world. More value is given to the visible reality, than to the unseen realm. Why is this humanity? Many have lost touch with the essence of their being. Why is this humanity? The biggest sin here on earth is the idea of " what you see is all there is." If we take some time and really look deep inside ourselves; our memory will be activated. We would remember being inside the womb of our mothers, possessing pure life, yet unseen in the outer world. The process of being impregnated with life is proof enough to confirm the reality and power of the SPIRIT WORLD. Likewise the Sun and all of Nature. The Sun is oftentimes not visible to the naked eye, but it is shining, the wind can't be seen but it is felt, the birds can be heard and not seen; plants, flowers, trees are not always visible yet they too possess the ultimate life force. We are totally depended on the soil and the sky, this is where all our nourishment springs from. There is indescribable beauty within everyone. The inner bliss is the forgotten luxury of existence. Will humans ever cease living back to front? Yes they will, but only under one condition, this will occur when they RECALL their origin. Mirrors of the Most High, man IS. Infinite songs, colors, thoughts, textures, shapes, sizes, scents, feelings,words, accessible to all; from the One.
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